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国外也有段子手:国家队比赛日,你最期待的是谁?

西江月-song 09-09 20:45

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”!上周的国际赛场精彩看点层出不穷,荷兰战胜德国,巴西和哥伦比亚握手言和,西班牙、葡萄牙和英格兰队等则纷纷取胜,中国队也公布了征战马尔代夫的大名单。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

焦点之战,荷兰4-2德国

Ariansharifi(皇马球迷):德国肯定是看了我们皇马的防守集锦了!(Someone in German has been watching our defence.)

BenAk11(未知主队球迷):巴萨球迷看到维纳尔杜姆最后10-15分钟的表现,一定会有别样的回忆吧…(Barcelona fans must have got a wired flashback watching Gini Wijnaldum those last 10-15 min... lol...)


RuubGullit(阿贾克斯球迷):巴尔韦德下场比赛就要让德容踢前锋啦!(Valverde using Frenkie as a striker next game confirmed)

Utouchme(埃因霍温球迷):幸运28技巧宝典下载我女朋友希望我的触球就像德容一样。(My girlfriend wishes I had a touch as good as that.)

videosTakkotah(阿斯顿维拉球迷):每次摄像机拍到勒夫的时候他都在抠鼻子,而且十有八九都会吃掉…这老哥一定有故事…(Every camera shot of Lows is him picking his nose and 9/10 eating it, the guy has issues.)

data2077(未知主队球迷):不知道的还以为是荷兰在踢主场呢!(You'd think the Netherlands were the home team.)

y1i(柏林联球迷):哈哈,汉堡当地球迷还在纳闷,为什么花了这么多钱结果看的还是和每周五联赛一样的惨败...(lol Hamburg fans are wondering why they paid so much to see their team on a Friday night.)

CptMeow123(拜仁球迷):好同情汉堡当地的球迷,他们还以为总算能看一场精彩的好球呢!(I feel very sad for all the people in Hamburg which hoped to finally see quality football again.)

BellenSchengel(美因茨球迷):现在勒夫的战术只有两种:一是又臭又长的催眠控球;二是无头鸡一样瞎JB踢…(The two ways we can play with Löw now: Slow and endless possession or headless chicken.)

C罗进球,葡萄牙4-2塞尔维亚

Helskrim(塞尔维亚球迷):好吧,至少我们可以把希望寄托于篮球。(Well i guess theres always basketbal to look forward to)

Arkon794(未知主队球迷):讲真,你们的篮球说不定能赢葡萄牙100分…(Your basketball team would probably beat Portugal by 100.)

Cruiseshipmarianne(葡萄牙球迷):我已经爱上B-席尔瓦啦!我能不能嫁给他啊,求你了老天爷…(I already knew I was in love with Bernardo Silva but damn, can’t I marry that man? Please God.)

Conscient(本菲卡球迷):梅西定律:每次对C罗高唱梅西之歌,C罗就会进球。(Messi law: when you cheer Messi to Ronaldo, he will score a goal.)

(图):这是那支球队,你猜出来了吗?

凯恩戴帽,英格兰4-0保加利亚

OcelotcR(切尔西球迷):保加利亚这能力可以,每当我们有得分良机,他们立刻就能在禁区里克隆500个防守球员出来…(I rate Bulgaria’s ability to clone 500 of themselves in the box as soon as we have a chance.)

Tim-Sanchez(未知主队球迷):英格兰把球回传给皮克福德,比赛就可以直接结束了,因为保加利亚球员根本不会上前去抢球的…(I feel like England could pass the ball back to Pickford and the game would just end because Bulgaria wouldn't even try to get the ball.)

内马尔进球,巴西2-2哥伦比亚

SawdustCrusader(弗拉门戈球迷):卡塞米罗和黄牌,一定是本世纪的最佳组合了!(Casemiro and yellow cards the duo of the century.)

Aug415(巴萨球迷):1球1助攻,内马尔回归赛场的答卷不错,这赛季很抱希望!(1 Goal, 1 Assist on Neymar’s first game back in a while. I have high hopes for him this season.)

Lamamalin(巴黎球迷):其实你是知道他没转会,对吧…(You know that he didn't join you, right?)

西班牙2-1罗马尼亚、4-0法罗群岛

yellowcards13(皇马球迷):为什么总感觉拉莫斯在比赛里的进球欲望极其强烈…(Why do I get the feeling Ramos really wants to score during the game.)

轻松取胜,法国4-1阿尔巴尼亚

TeKaeS(巴黎球迷):哈哈,我们的阵容深度这么给力,这不公平呀!(Lmao we have so much depth it's not even fair.)

Druiked(法国球迷):吉鲁一脚射正都没有也可以拿下世界杯,所以他就自带赢球属性!(Giroud won the World Cup without taking a single shot on target, he's not gonna change a winning recipe.)

中国队征战马尔代夫名单公布

Itaney(巴萨球迷):一旦中国出现了梅西级别的球员,世界足坛格局将彻底掀翻,某些俱乐部甚至会花10亿欧元去买他的,毕竟这市场价值简直不可估量啊!(Once a Chinese Messi appears, the world is basically over and some club will pay his fair price of a billion euros because of how ridiculously marketable he will be.)

2Kfifa(曼联球迷):只要有中国球员能达到孙兴慜的水平,你说的这些基本就可以实现了…(a Chinese player who has Son Hin Min quality will be good enough for this.)

abczyx123(阿森纳球迷):当年我还看过李铁替补登场又被红牌罚下的比赛,那都是老子逝去的青春啊!(I watched Li Tie come on as a sub and get sent off. Those were the days!)

CandycaneMushrrom(埃弗顿球迷):当年英超最受瞩目的比赛是埃弗顿和曼城,就是因为有两名中国球员同场较量!(Everton v City is the most viewed premier league game of all time due to the two Chinese players playing.)

好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了,让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧!

消息参考来源: reddit

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热门评论(11)

2019-09-09 20:51:58

259

My country has WU LEI

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2019-09-09 20:56:02

233

我们国家有……

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2019-09-09 20:52:22

120

阿森纳

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2019-09-09 20:51:46

108

好吧,至少我们可以把希望寄托于乒乓球

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2019-09-09 21:17:49

71

我女朋友希望我的射门像C罗一样

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2019-09-09 21:23:16

44

一言不合就开车?

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2019-09-09 21:13:53

38

“女朋友希望控球和德容一样”意思是就一直一上一下,就是不射吗?

2019-09-09 21:21:27

38

My country has PIAOJIAOLIAN

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2019-09-09 21:42:50

32

??

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2019-09-09 21:57:31

26

阿森纳!中场贡多妻baby 然后看看右边卫 告诉我答案

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2019-09-09 20:51:51

22

这不是真爱是什么

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